


The ones worth suffering for.

by SilverInStars



Series: Bingo 2018 (MCU) [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 2018 Stony MCU Bingo, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Background Character Death, Fix-It of Sorts, Grief/Mourning, Hospitals, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-30
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2019-05-16 05:44:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14805468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverInStars/pseuds/SilverInStars
Summary: *INFINITY WAR SPOILERS*Tony returns to earth and finds out Steve's been severely injured after the battle with Thanos.





	The ones worth suffering for.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is canon divergent. I wanted to squeeze a few fics in before bingo ends so I'm speed writing ideas that comes from the top of my head ^^' This is for "Hospitals" on my bingo fill.

It wasn’t a big deal.

Tony was seated on one of the chairs in the waiting area opposite the ICU. It was quieter here, the din of the emergency room had faded out, leaving Tony with the cold, clinical smell of the hospital, and the uncomfortable warmth of the Iron man armor encompassing him.

He glared resolutely at his red and gold thighs, from the corner of his eye he could see Bruce hovering in uncertainty. Tony should look up, give Bruce a casual smile, a generic shrug, anything that would let Bruce know that Tony was the last person to be affected by this. It wasn’t about him, and he didn’t care. He refused to care.

Something shifted beside him, and Tony flinched. He covered it up quick, settling his features back into the facade of nonchalance he was managing till then. Nat cleared her throat, she had her legs tucked up underneath her, relaxed posture suggesting she had been there a while. 

“He’ll be okay.” She murmured, voice soft. Like she was preparing to talk him down, like Tony would need comfort. 

“I’m sure.” He gritted out, then realized his jaw was clenched and forced it to unhinge. “I’m not doing whatever you think I’m doing so you guys can stop with that.”

“Stop with what?” She asked him.

His head jerked up now, to throw her a look of disbelief, but then he caught the glare of red and he snapped his head back to his knees. It wasn’t that he couldn’t look. He just- he didn’t want to. 

Nat caught the aborted movement, and raised a curious brow. Her eyes slid over, past the chairs, past Bruce holding a cup of disgusting smelling coffee in his hand. He heard the small sigh she allowed to pass her lips. 

“Tony,” She curled towards him, “He wouldn’t want to see you like this.”

Tony reared back, “Who gives an ever living fuck about what he wants?! It’s clear that he never bothered to think about how I-we might feel. What would happen to me-us if something happened. Fuck, Something did happen, and now-” he thrusted an agitated hand towards the direction where all he could see was red red red-

Nat was giving him a knowing look.

“You know what, fuck you” Tony spat out, “Fuck all of you. Fuck you and fuck him, especially him.”

Tony couldn’t look at his hands, if he did he would see more red, brown hair, innocent eyes begging Tony to save him. And Tony- he could feel the air lodging itself firmly into his windpipe, he was, he couldn’t, the dust slipped through his fingers and all he could do was claw at it desperately. The child wasn’t his, but Tony couldn’t silence the echo in him that howled, and thrashed violently,  _ my boy, my child, my beautiful son _ . Tony was- all he had done was stand there, Tony was useless, worthless if he couldn’t, and now-

“Tony? Tony you need to calm down.” 

He was calm, why couldn’t Natasha see that Tony was fucking calm. “Don’t tell me what to do. Don’t you dare.” The chill in his voice cut into her, and she fell silent. 

One of the Doctors chose that moment to step out, and Tony was in front of him before he realized his body had moved. 

“How  is he?”

He saw Nat and Bruce exchanging looks, but he ignored them.

The doctor cleared his throat, “He’s still under observation. His injuries were extensive. The serum is performing miracles, but there are limitations and-” he broke off looking startled and Tony realized he had advanced into the man’s space in a manner that could have seemed threatening. 

Natasha nudged her way between them and smiled at the surgeon charmingly, “I’m sure you’re doing your best Dr. Baker.” 

When the doctor had disappeared once more behind the double doors she turned a sharp gaze to Tony, “I understand that you are upset, but these are the people who have Steve’s life in their hands.” 

“I’m not upset.” 

His words fell to deaf ears. 

 

\---

 

The doctor took a few more hours before he came out to tell them Steve was in the clear. Tony had wanted to run out immediately, but Natasha had kept a firm grip on his arm looking like she would cling on even if he attempted escaping in the suit, even if his chances were bleak with the remains of it.

So one by one they were shuffled in to see Steve now that he was awake. Tony wanted to be the last one to meet him, but Natasha had nudged him forward with a firm hand and Tony stepped into the generic hospital room.    


Steve’s head turned towards him, and Tony froze. 

Steve looked...Steve looked tired. There were still bruises across his brow and peeking through the collar of his hospital gown, a testament to the thrashing he had received at the hand of Thanos. He was watching Tony with sad, lost eyes, and Tony wanted to yell and scream, ugly, dark words that would beat out of his heart and into Steve’s chest. But the words remained stuck in his throat. 

Tony waited near the door, he wanted to turn around and fly away, far into the galaxy. To the place where he had left the last shred of his humanity. Steve was taking him in, the matching bruises, the dried blood, his damaged armor. Tony hadn’t gone home yet, he had made his way straight to the hospital when he had heard. He didn’t know why he was here, only that his blood pounded in his head, and he couldn’t stop hearing himself screaming in his mind. 

Steve was alright. 

“Tony,” Steve called out to him, and Tony looked at him with tortured eyes. He didn’t care. He didn’t. He couldn’t. He didn’t have the right to those emotions anymore. 

“Tony, come here,” Steve’s voice was anguished.

“I can’t”

“Tony please,” Steve stretched an arm out to him, and Tony couldn’t take it anymore. His knees buckled under him and he clattered on the floor in a heap of flesh, blood and metal. His face crumpled along with his body, and he pressed a fist into his gasping mouth, like he could reach inside and pull out that dark void inside him and lay it bare on the white tiles between them. 

Steve ripped the IV from his arms, and Tony should protest, somewhere at the back of his mind a voice was warning him that Steve was worth ten of him. The voice sounded too much like Tony himself. Steve stumbled to Tony, closing the gap between them. He was big, bigger than Tony, and when Steve tugged Tony into the folds of his arms, Tony wondered if he could just meld into Steve’s body. And maybe for once, he would not be a murderer anymore. Maybe then he would look at his hands and stop seeing red, red red, red-

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
